Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Blaze: Chapter 26

In a less than shocking move, Hazard and Blaze head off to a secret little pond/meadow/wooded area, swim, fuck, and then profess their love to each other. That's the whole chapter. Seriously. In honor of this chapter I will now quote all the pairings of words that made me go 'blegh':

'undulating grassy highlands', 'fragrantly verdant', 'burgeoning fertility', ladened plum bough', 'slimly erect', 'woodland sprite surprised at her bath', 'cut through the water like a whipcord', 'frothy bubbles', 'like silk on velvet', 'waggish amusement slid lacily', 'internal guide to excellence', 'a swollen dimension', 'lovely rampant length', 'his erection beautiful and offering to her', 'very slowly, savoring the separate words', 'pleasure like opium dreams', 'so beautifully inside her', 'impudent wretch', 'hot little body starts tuning up', 'pettishly exhaled', 'quivering heart of her need', 'round opulent', 'high peaked presentation', 'lush pink flesh', 'rough-soft voice', 'dewy sweetness', 'shattering surge', 'creamy fluid drip languidly', 'as the spring sun kisses new tender green shoots', 'precious creature poised like a shimmer of gold', 'flaring golden-striped gossamer wing'

You can't make shit like this up.


  1. I'll tell you right now: I've been to the Highlands. While grassy, they certainly don't undulate. They most certainly jut uncomfortably upwards.

  2. um, apparently, at least SOMEONE out there can, indeed, make this shit up. Just sayin'.

    Also, I think your summaries are pretty hysterical.